Meet Our Pen Pals

We have many women reach out to us for support after suffering a miscarriage or
early pregnancy loss who feel they need some support and someone to talk to who understands how they are feeling. Our chasing rainbows pen pals are peer
supporters with lived experience that are there to be a listening ear and to validate all of those feelings that come with your loss. Your pen pal will be contactable via email to talk about your experiences and to help you process your feelings with someone that ‘just gets it’. Sometimes someone saying “I felt exactly the same” is just what you need to hear. If you would be interested in being matched with one of our pen pals, just fill out the form at the bottom of this page.

Our Pen Pals program is available to individuals across the UK, ensuring that no matter where you are, support is just a message away.

Standard Operating Procedure Doc

My name is Ainsley, I am one of the chasing rainbows trustees and will be triaging the pen pal service

My name is Ainsley, I am one of the Chasing Rainbows trustees.

I am the lead bereavement Midwife at Hull Women and Children’s Hospital, and I adore my job. I am also the aunt to my nephew, Finley, who was born at 23 weeks. I observed my sister receive poor bereavement care, which set me on my career pathway to try and make a difference for bereaved families.

Although I have never had a pregnancy loss, I am infertile and have undergone IVF treatment both in the UK and overseas.

In 2021, I experienced what I felt to be a very difficult cycle of IVF which was exacerbated by the covid rules implemented at the time.

Infertility and the whole IVF process comes with a rollercoaster of emotions; especially when after all your greatest efforts, it’s unsuccessful, which is something I have experienced. It affects all aspects of your life; physically, mentally, financially. It holts your entire life and hinders many relationships.

Hi, I'm Becky...

I'm 37 and I first got in touch with Sam in 2019 and attended the very first Chasing Rainbows meeting. I had had two losses at that point and felt alone but from the minute I attended that very first meeting I instantly felt safe and not alone. I learnt so much from other users and Sam about how to start and take control of my fertility and Sam had created a community where women like me could feel normal. Sam, the charity and the other women helped me through two further losses, an ectopic pregnancy in 2022 which nearly ended my life and now on the journey to have my beautiful rainbow, Eliza, born in May this year.

I felt in control and found courage to challenge medical professionals when I felt they were trying to find excuses as to why I couldn’t keep a pregnancy and they have always picked me up when I have felt like giving up, they always gave me hope. The knowledge I have gained from Chasing Rainbows armed me with courage to fight for my rainbow and has also allowed me to help others I know understand their own fertility and given them the courage to seek support. Without Sam and Chasing Rainbows I honestly believe I would have given up hope. If I hadn’t have found Chasing Rainbows I honestly do not think I would be here today!

Being a pen pal for Chasing Rainbows will be a privilege and I will always be happy to listen without judgement and hopefully help others keep hope and faith on their journey to their rainbow.

Hi, I’m Kate...

I joined Chasing Rainbows back in 2018 when a friend told me about the charity. At that point I’d had 2 miscarriages following a sunshine baby in 2015.

I had zero experience or understanding of miscarriage and I felt completely out of control. Chasing Rainbows became my lifeline and with the advocacy and support I received I discovered that I had thyroid issues and anti phospholipid syndrome both of which likely caused my losses. Whilst I did lose another 6 babies on my journey to find a medical professional who would support me and offer me progesterone and blood thinners I have now had a rainbow baby.

No woman should ever be alone in this journey. I’m really privileged that I get to support you whilst you’re chasing your own rainbow.

Hi, I'm Amy...

I have been with Chasing Rainbows since 2019 following my own journey with recurrent miscarriages. Chasing Rainbows has really been the greatest lifeline to me; making me realise that I’m not alone in what feels like the loneliest place on Earth. As a consequence, I have learnt a lot about miscarriage and gained the confidence to advocate for myself in the face of people and professionals who didn’t really have a clue. It was only through the support and knowledge I’ve gained through Chasing Rainbows that I was able to have my own rainbow baby in 2021.

I’ve found through my journey that you can have the most supportive friends and family but there is a kind of support that you can only get from someone who has walked the same journey and just gets it. I wanted to be a Chasing Rainbows penpal so that I could be that person for someone else; that they can say whatever they need to and know that I totally and completely understand. That made a huge difference to me in my ability to cope and I hope it would to you too.

Hi, I'm Carolyn...

When I first joined Chasing Rainbows at it's 2nd group, I was still dealing with grief of 7 years trying to have a baby and 4 early miscarriages even though I had gone on to have my rainbow baby. Over those years I didn't know many people who were going through this and I became very isolated, I felt like I was letting everyone down and was overwhelmed by my situation.

Chasing Rainbows have helped me talk openly about my situation without shame or guilt, it increased my confidence to talk about everything to do with miscarriages and for me most importantly the confidence to try again, I have gone on to have a second rainbow baby as well.

I want to be a Chasing Rainbows Penpal to help people through this time, to give hope for the future so no-one feels they have to go the experience of a miscarriage alone.

Hi, I'm Vicky...

I have been a part of Chasing Rainbows since 2020. I’ve had a very long and difficult battle with infertility and IVF for the last 15 years. I was extremely lucky to have my son from my first round of IVF in 2012, and since then, I have lost 9 very much wanted IVF babies over the last 8 years. I understand more than most how this journey consumes your life and you feel frozen in time while life keeps moving on.

Chasing rainbows helped me to realise I’m not alone and it gave me a safe and supportive outlet for my grief and also something I thought I’d lost completely, hope.

This is the loneliest journey and I hope I can make even one person feel less alone and provide them with the support, strength and hope when they need it the most.

Hi, I'm Sammi...

I first got in touch with Chasing Rainbows after having to end my pregnancy at 22 weeks due to my baby, Tilly, being diagnosed with Pataus Syndrome after our 20 week scan.

Unfortunately, I went on to have two further early miscarriages soon after joining the group.

I was so greatful to have the support, Sam and the ladies gave me the strength to get through these losses and to continue my IVF journey.
When you feel like you're the only person in the world who can be this 'unlucky' you gain a girl gang to show you you're not on your own.
After 6 rounds of IVF, using a clinic abroad and donor eggs I have been very lucky to get two rainbow babies at once.

I hope that my story and support after my own experience can help others to have the strength to get through their journey and to get their own rainbow baby.

Hi, I'm Zara...

I’m a 35 year old adult nurse and mummy to my 4 gorgeous children and 3 beautiful angels in heaven. My first pregnancy loss was a missed miscarriage at 7-8 weeks gestation in 2013. I then was blessed and had my rainbow baby girl in 2014 followed by my son in 2021. Sadly in 2022 I had a second trimester loss at 18 weeks gestation and lost a beautiful baby girl. Following the loss of my daughter I went on to have my rainbow baby boy in 2023 followed by heartbreakingly another second trimester loss at 17 weeks gestation of my beautiful baby boy in 2024. This is when I was connected to Sam and the amazing chasing rainbows charity. I was exceptionally lucky that Sam worked within the hospital I was in and is local to me so helped support me along with the wonderful Ainsley my bereavement midwife. The charity and support I received was exceptional and I will forever be thankful to these wonderful ladies who showed nothing but care, compassion and commitment to me when I was at the lowest points in my life. They helped navigate me through the pain and grief I was in. I have recently had another rainbow baby in July 2025 and had an exceptionally high risk pregnancy which resulted in a month long NICU stay, as well as the trauma and anxiety of my losses the ladies were unbelievable to help keep me on the straight and narrow and keep me focused and strong for my new pregnancy which resulted in a beautiful baby girl.

I will forever be grateful to the ladies who provided me the most individualised care, support and love throughout my journey and I feel exceptionally privileged to be able to return that by helping and supporting other woman and families who may sadly be in the same shoes as i have been in.

Hi, I'm Emma...

I’m a trustee of the charity and have had my own long and difficult fertility journey for 8.5 years and received support from CR since 2020. My husband and I have had 7 losses - 6 early before 7.5 weeks, and one later at 17 weeks.

Getting in touch with the charity opened up a whole new path for us to explore. Support from Sam and attending the peer support groups allowed me to gain not just the support and understanding of others also going through similar experiences, but also vast knowledge around other avenues to be able to try and explore. It’s because of this that we now have our rainbow baby who would not be here without chasing rainbows.

Being around and listened to by people who have experienced what you have - those feelings of isolation, loneliness and grief really is invaluable when you feel in the trenches. Which is why I’m now a pen pal to be there for others feeling like I did.

Hi, I'm Rebecca...

The last six years have honestly been some of the hardest I’ve had to navigate. My fertility journey has completely consumed that time — I’ve been pregnant seven times, with two beautiful children, four early miscarriages, and one missed miscarriage.

After having two miscarriages and then my son, I naïvely thought having a second baby wouldn’t be quite so hard… but it turned out to be even harder.

I’ve been in touch with Sam over the years, and I’ve truly appreciated having someone at the other end of a message who just gets it. Those simple messages meant so much — they gave me hope, comfort, and a bit of direction when I needed it most.

I wanted to be a pen pal for Chasing Rainbows because I know how difficult it can be to open up about how you’re really feeling, especially when you’re scared of being judged by people who haven’t been through it. Everyone’s journey is different and personal , but we all share the same hope and dream — keep chasing that rainbow. 🌈

Hi, I'm Shelley...

A 44 year old mummy to 3 beautiful girls and 5 precious stars in the sky. After over 4 years of suffering with recurrent losses and secondary infertility I was able to hold my tiny rainbow baby.

A year on and I found Chasing Rainbows when I was looking for a charity to run the London Landmarks Half Marathon for.

Everything that Chasing Rainbows stands for resonated with me and by becoming a Pen Pal is my way to give back and help others who maybe struggling with secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage and all the thoughts and feelings that come with pregnancy and baby loss.

Hi, I'm Bev...

I found Chasing Rainbows in 2024 after 1 early miscarriage and 1 missed miscarriage. I felt very alone and had withdrawn from family, friends and life in general. The hospital had told me I was ‘just unlucky’ and to try again, however the thought of a possible further loss was terrifying and I wasn’t sure how much more my mental health could take.

Chasing Rainbows provided me with knowledge I would otherwise have not come across. It enabled me to take control of the next steps in my journey and be able to advocate for myself with doctors and medical professionals.

After attending my first group session with Chasing Rainbows the ladies gave me hope, support and strength during a time that felt isolating. The understanding from others with similar experiences helped validate my feelings and made me feel less alone. Others that just ‘get’ what you are going through makes a huge difference.

Just before my 41st birthday in 2025 I had my rainbow baby Harriet. I honestly believe she would not be here without the knowledge and support from Chasing Rainbows.

I am honoured to be a pen pal and hope I can be there to support others.

Hi, I'm Viki...

I am 36 and single. My fertility journey very much started as I was curious to discover whether freezing my eggs for the future would be an option for me. After testing I found out that my AMH levels were surprisingly low for someone of my age and I needed to make the decision to act sooner rather than later. After much consideration I decided to go down the path of Embyro freezing with a sperm donor; instead of egg freezing because of the increased success rates and my longing to become a mum.

I contacted Chasing Rainbows for infertility support after my first of multiple IVF cycles did not result in any viable embryos. This was such a difficult time because I wasn’t sure whether motherhood using my own eggs was going to be a possibility! Attending the support group gave me so much hope, support and reassurance that I wasn’t in this alone; as people were genuinely invested in my journey and for this I will be forever grateful!

My second round of natural modified IVF was a success resulting in one frozen embryo and I was so lucky that my third round resulted in the birth of my beautiful little girl Ada.

I am so passionate about early AMH testing and alternate paths to becoming a mom and will always be in awe of what love and a little bit of science can do. I hope I can offer support to other ladies out there just as Chasing Rainbows did for me x

Hi, I'm Ruby...

I’m a mum to three beautiful angel babies in the sky. After our second miscarriage, I joined Chasing Rainbows. That loss was incredibly tough it lasted ten months with countless hospital visits and procedures. During that time, Sam was my lifeline, guiding me through the hardest moments and helping me find a way forward.

My husband was honoured when Chasing Rainbows invited him to run the London Landmarks Half Marathon 2025. Heartbreakingly, while he was running, we lost our third baby. It was devastating, but Sam’s support made an unbearable time feel a little lighter and reminded us we weren’t alone.

After our third loss, I underwent further testing into my microbiome and immunology. Since then, we’ve started treatment and continue to hold onto hope for our miracle.

Reaching out to Chasing Rainbows was the best decision I could have made. Sam’s compassion and guidance have helped me grow stronger and believe again in the possibility of our dreams coming true. I’d now love to give back by becoming a pen pal, offering support to other women on a similar journey.

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If you have any other enquiries, please visit our contact page.