Meet Our Pen Pals

We have many women reach out to us for support after suffering a miscarriage or
early pregnancy loss who feel they need some support and someone to talk to who understands how they are feeling. Our chasing rainbows pen pals are peer
supporters with lived experience that are there to be a listening ear and to validate all of those feelings that come with your loss. Your pen pal will be contactable via email to talk about your experiences and to help you process your feelings with someone that ‘just gets it’. Sometimes someone saying “I felt exactly the same” is just what you need to hear. If you would be interested in being matched with one of our pen pals, just fill out the form at the bottom of this page.

Standard Operating Procedure Doc

My name is Ainsley, I am one of the chasing rainbows trustees and will be triaging the pen pal service

My name is Ainsley, I am one of the Chasing Rainbows trustees.

I am the lead bereavement Midwife at Hull Women and Children’s Hospital, and I adore my job. I am also the aunt to my nephew, Finley, who was born at 23 weeks. I observed my sister receive poor bereavement care, which set me on my career pathway to try and make a difference for bereaved families.

Although I have never had a pregnancy loss, I am infertile and have undergone IVF treatment both in the UK and overseas.

In 2021, I experienced what I felt to be a very difficult cycle of IVF which was exacerbated by the covid rules implemented at the time.

Infertility and the whole IVF process comes with a rollercoaster of emotions; especially when after all your greatest efforts, it’s unsuccessful, which is something I have experienced. It affects all aspects of your life; physically, mentally, financially. It holts your entire life and hinders many relationships.

Hi my name is Becky...

I'm 37 and I first got in touch with Sam in 2019 and attended the very first Chasing Rainbows meeting. I had had two losses at that point and felt alone but from the minute I attended that very first meeting I instantly felt safe and not alone. I learnt so much from other users and Sam about how to start and take control of my fertility and Sam had created a community where women like me could feel normal. Sam, the charity and the other women helped me through two further losses, an ectopic pregnancy in 2022 which nearly ended my life and now on the journey to have my beautiful rainbow, Eliza, born in May this year.

I felt in control and found courage to challenge medical professionals when I felt they were trying to find excuses as to why I couldn’t keep a pregnancy and they have always picked me up when I have felt like giving up, they always gave me hope. The knowledge I have gained from Chasing Rainbows armed me with courage to fight for my rainbow and has also allowed me to help others I know understand their own fertility and given them the courage to seek support. Without Sam and Chasing Rainbows I honestly believe I would have given up hope. If I hadn’t have found Chasing Rainbows I honestly do not think I would be here today!

Being a pen pal for Chasing Rainbows will be a privilege and I will always be happy to listen without judgement and hopefully help others keep hope and faith on their journey to their rainbow.

Hi, I’m Kate...

I joined Chasing Rainbows back in 2018 when a friend told me about the charity. At that point I’d had 2 miscarriages following a sunshine baby in 2015.

I had zero experience or understanding of miscarriage and I felt completely out of control. Chasing Rainbows became my lifeline and with the advocacy and support I received I discovered that I had thyroid issues and anti phospholipid syndrome both of which likely caused my losses. Whilst I did lose another 6 babies on my journey to find a medical professional who would support me and offer me progesterone and blood thinners I have now had a rainbow baby.

No woman should ever be alone in this journey. I’m really privileged that I get to support you whilst you’re chasing your own rainbow.

Hi, my name is Amy...

I have been with Chasing Rainbows since 2019 following my own journey with recurrent miscarriages. Chasing Rainbows has really been the greatest lifeline to me; making me realise that I’m not alone in what feels like the loneliest place on Earth. As a consequence, I have learnt a lot about miscarriage and gained the confidence to advocate for myself in the face of people and professionals who didn’t really have a clue. It was only through the support and knowledge I’ve gained through Chasing Rainbows that I was able to have my own rainbow baby in 2021.

I’ve found through my journey that you can have the most supportive friends and family but there is a kind of support that you can only get from someone who has walked the same journey and just gets it. I wanted to be a Chasing Rainbows penpal so that I could be that person for someone else; that they can say whatever they need to and know that I totally and completely understand. That made a huge difference to me in my ability to cope and I hope it would to you too.

Hi, my name is Carolyn...

When I first joined Chasing Rainbows at it's 2nd group, I was still dealing with grief of 7 years trying to have a baby and 4 early miscarriages even though I had gone on to have my rainbow baby. Over those years I didn't know many people who were going through this and I became very isolated, I felt like I was letting everyone down and was overwhelmed by my situation.

Chasing Rainbows have helped me talk openly about my situation without shame or guilt, it increased my confidence to talk about everything to do with miscarriages and for me most importantly the confidence to try again, I have gone on to have a second rainbow baby as well.

I want to be a Chasing Rainbows Penpal to help people through this time, to give hope for the future so no-one feels they have to go the experience of a miscarriage alone.

Hi, my name is Vicky...

I have been a part of Chasing Rainbows since 2020. I’ve had a very long and difficult battle with infertility and IVF for the last 15 years. I was extremely lucky to have my son from my first round of IVF in 2012, and since then, I have lost 9 very much wanted IVF babies over the last 8 years. I understand more than most how this journey consumes your life and you feel frozen in time while life keeps moving on.

Chasing rainbows helped me to realise I’m not alone and it gave me a safe and supportive outlet for my grief and also something I thought I’d lost completely, hope.

This is the loneliest journey and I hope I can make even one person feel less alone and provide them with the support, strength and hope when they need it the most.

Hi my name is Sammi...

I first got in touch with Chasing Rainbows after having to end my pregnancy at 22 weeks due to my baby, Tilly, being diagnosed with Pataus Syndrome after our 20 week scan.

Unfortunately, I went on to have two further early miscarriages soon after joining the group.

I was so greatful to have the support, Sam and the ladies gave me the strength to get through these losses and to continue my IVF journey.
When you feel like you're the only person in the world who can be this 'unlucky' you gain a girl gang to show you you're not on your own.
After 6 rounds of IVF, using a clinic abroad and donor eggs I have been very lucky to get two rainbow babies at once.

I hope that my story and support after my own experience can help others to have the strength to get through their journey and to get their own rainbow baby.

Request a Pen Pal

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