The Emotional Impact of Infertility: Finding Support When You're Struggling to Conceive
Trying to start or grow your family can be an exciting time, but when pregnancy doesn't happen as expected, it can become an incredibly difficult and emotional journey.
Infertility and fertility struggles can affect far more than your plans for having a baby. They can impact your mental wellbeing, relationships, confidence and everyday life. You may find yourself surrounded by pregnancy announcements and conversations about children while privately dealing with disappointment, uncertainty and questions about your own future.
If you're struggling to conceive, whatever you're feeling is valid and you don't have to navigate it alone.
The Emotional Impact of Trying to Conceive
When you've been trying for a baby for some time, life can begin to feel like a cycle of waiting and hoping.
Each month may bring anticipation followed by disappointment. Fertility appointments, tests and treatments can add another layer of uncertainty, particularly when you don't yet have clear answers about why you're struggling to conceive.
You might experience feelings of sadness, frustration, anger, anxiety, jealousy or guilt. Some people find themselves withdrawing from social situations, while others struggle with seeing pregnancy announcements or being asked questions about when they're going to have children.
These feelings don't make you a bad friend or family member. Infertility can be emotionally exhausting, and it's understandable that certain situations may become difficult.
Infertility Can Feel Isolating
One of the hardest aspects of fertility struggles can be feeling as though everyone around you is moving forward while you're standing still.
Friends and family may want to help but not always know what to say. Comments intended to be reassuring, such as "just relax" or "it will happen when the time is right", can sometimes leave you feeling even more misunderstood.
You may also find it difficult to talk openly about what you're experiencing, particularly if people around you haven't experienced fertility difficulties themselves.
Connecting with someone who understands can make a real difference.
Looking After Yourself While Trying to Conceive
There is no single way to make infertility easier, but looking after your emotional wellbeing is just as important as navigating the physical side of fertility.
It can help to give yourself permission to set boundaries. You don't have to attend every baby shower, answer personal questions about your fertility or discuss treatment when you don't feel ready.
Try to make space for parts of your life that aren't connected to trying to conceive. Spending time with people you trust, continuing hobbies you enjoy or simply taking a break from thinking and talking about fertility can sometimes provide much needed breathing space.
Most importantly, don't feel that you have to cope with everything by yourself.
Fertility Struggles Can Affect Relationships Too
Infertility can put additional pressure on relationships, particularly when partners process the experience differently.
One person may want to talk about it frequently while the other prefers to process their feelings privately. Decisions around testing, treatment and finances can also become stressful.
Neither response is necessarily wrong. Being open about how you're both feeling and recognising that you may cope differently can help you support each other through the process.
Support doesn't have to come solely from your partner either. Friends, family, healthcare professionals and peer support communities can all form part of your support network.
Finding Infertility Support
Speaking to people with lived experience can help you feel less isolated and give you a space where you don't need to explain why certain parts of the journey are difficult.
Chasing Rainbows provides support for people experiencing infertility and fertility struggles, as well as those navigating miscarriage and baby loss.
Our support services provide a safe, understanding environment where you can talk openly about your experiences, meet others who understand and receive support without judgement.
You can also complete our self referral form so we can help identify the support that may be most suitable for you.
When to Seek Professional Help
If you're concerned about your fertility, it's also important to speak to your GP or another healthcare professional.
NHS guidance generally recommends seeing your GP if you haven't conceived after a year of trying. It may be appropriate to seek advice sooner depending on factors such as your age or whether you already know of a possible fertility issue.
Your GP can discuss your circumstances with you and advise whether fertility investigations or a referral to a specialist may be appropriate.
You Don't Have to Face Infertility Alone
Fertility struggles can be unpredictable, exhausting and deeply personal. There may be days when you feel hopeful and others when the uncertainty feels overwhelming.
Whatever stage of the journey you're at, you deserve support.
Chasing Rainbows is here to provide a safe and understanding space for people navigating infertility, fertility treatment, miscarriage and baby loss. Whether you need someone to listen or simply want to connect with people who understand, we're here for you.
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